Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Musing about time lost...

So several of the ladies in my league have been attending some classes with the WRD fresh meat coaches. They are all improving in leaps and bounds. Unfortunately for me, this class falls on the ONE evening a week that my stay-at-home husband asks that I stay home and watch the children so that he can go out and be a grownup. Do I begrudge him this time? Absolutely not. He deserves it. He works hard to keep my home in order and my children from killing each other. I am a little jealous at times that he gets to go out with our friends, and I have to stay home, but I can deal with my selfish nature and move on.
I do regret not being able to take this class with my teammates though. I really need the practice. I have to admit that I am feeling left behind in the league. I feel like I am not really improving much anymore, and the rest of the girls are still leaping ahead, getting faster, stronger, tactically smarter, and generally more skilled. I feel like a lumbering ox on the track and I watch our newest recruits zipping around, skating backwards, doing perfect tomahawk stops. These things all still scare the bejezus out of me.
I don't know. Maybe it is just because I am feeling low due to the rotten weather we have been experiencing. Maybe I really do suck, and the positive feedback I am getting is just to keep me from feeling like a loser.
I'm sorry to be such a negative Nellie today.
Tomorrow is a new practice. Here's hoping it's better.


  1. <3 I love skating with you! You have come a long way and I am sad to see you so down on yourself. It seems like we all go in and out of those downer emotions. It's always important to remember you are not alone and we understand. *hug* You have never even come close to being a lumbering ox in any of our minds, no way, just to let you know. ;-) When I start to feel that way I try to apply my frustration to my skates. For a while it didn't work out so well but sometimes negative feelings can be motivation to move toward nice ones. :)

  2. Derby is a bit of an epic roller coaster, and we all feel pretty down sometimes. Take some deep breaths, treat yourself kindly and soon enough you'll be heading back up :)